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Wein-Cartoons I
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"It was a '67 Chateau Yquem? I say leave it on!"
"Get them whitened? It took me $ 50,000 and five thousand bottles of Bordeaux to get them this way!"
"Of course I am following orders, dear. Doc said I should limit myself to one glass of wine a day."
... was für das starke Geschlecht allerdings in der Kombination mit Frauen nicht immer zutrifft:
"Not much - just flushing out my arteries"
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Diesen billigen Wein willst Du verschenken? Der ist doch voll Scheiße!
Ich wische die Flasche vorher ab!
"I remember when you used to look at me like that."
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"The next time you feel like drinking Champagne from your slipper, don't wear open toe shoes."
"Just my husband - he's either shot himself or opened another bottle."
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"Yeah, well, at least my husband's not a wine freak!"
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Wein ist (bis auf wenige Ausnahmen) gut für die Gesundheit:
"Hmmm, this wine is a lot like my wife: well aged but still bitter."
"Am I sexy yet?"
"Honey, I meant it as a compliment when I said you were like a fine red wine... full bodied!"
"I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine."
"I knew you'd like the chili; I made it with your '45 Chateau Latour."
"You're always complaining that red wine gives you bad breath, so I added mouthwash to this one really scummy looking bottle of Chateau La something from '45."
"Aha! Caught you with your 18-year old friend!"
"Jack contracted botrytis cinerea. It hasn't done much for his looks, but his disposition is a lot sweeter"
Betty used every opportunity to exercise her pelvic floor muscles.
"You know why he is marrying a vintner's daughter? He thinks she is di-vine."
"He's not much to look at, but he does have a nose for wine!"
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"Sorry, it only has 87 Parker points - Paul won't buy any wine with a rating higher than his IQ"
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"Ah, yes, Dr. Hanisch and Dr. Buerklin - never a co-pay and always available for emergencies!"
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"Is there a Dr. Loosen in the house?"
Nora knew she shouldn't have had that second glass of wine when she spotted the weight watchers helicopter following her home...
"Richard, control yourself! You're swirling counterclockwise in public!"
"If you really cared about me, you'll swim back to the boat and get me a bottle of wine!"
Suddenly, her whole life made complete sense to her.
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"I ordered fish for dinner. Take that back and bring me a white."
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"Thank God - I'm sick of the Beaujolais!"
"Mother Superior, we've got a Case of Syphilis in the Convent!"
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"If you had to give up either wine or women, which would you choose?"
"Depends on the vintage of either."
"If I wrote a prescription for red wine, I'll bet you wouldn't complain about having to take it five times a day."
"So you think you have swine flu be- cause you're light headed, have a red nose, and keep losing your balance? Sounds more like wine flu to me."
"Second worst reaction to sulfites I have ever seen."
" Would you care to see the wine list?"
"No thanks - she whines about every- thing. We don't need a list"
"Wine represents all things civilized. It's an artistic expression, a manifestation of cultural enlightenment..."
"My dear, you look radiant!"
"Strange... when I was here with Jennifer last week they ignored the Riesling..."
"He means nothing to me, darling - he doesn't even like red wine"
"Don't do it, Alice! That Bordeaux's from the great year of 1982!"
"Open a wine that will make me want to watch the shows you want to watch."
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"When a wine rates over 90, It's is not alcoholism."
"That's why I hate France - you cant get a decent cup of coffee!"
"On second thought, Ill have sangria. I had rosé the last time we buried the hatchet."
"My god - it tickles your nose! Is that all you have to say about a Veuve Clicquot '21?!"
"Let me guess. You had it up to here with the world of business, so you packed it all in and started your own winery."
"I love these quiet evenings at home battling alcoholism."
“The loving wife blog” Entry from August 2010: Last night my husband said: I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug. So I unplugged the electric wine storage cabinet and threw out all his bottles.
"I limit myself to one glass of wine per day."
"If he needs blood, doctor - we all have group Cabernet Sauvignon."
"There are times I worry about him. He could do himself a nasty injury with that corkscrew of his."
"By the way, the health benefits of a glass of wine a day are not retroactive."
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"Gisela, machst du mal 'nen Wein?"
"Bin ich Jesus?"
Chez Gisela
Sandra believed that a partner should be subservient. Especially hers.
"Some wine, and make it snappy!"
"You said 'Bring something ripe and blue veined to go with vintage port, so I invited him'."
"She likes her wine sweet"
"Hold it...there's something I always do after arguing with a waiter!"
"Kann ich auch noch 'nen Schluck be- kommen?"
"You can at least dry off!"
"Aber Alfred, Du musst doch noch fahren!"
"Ich dachte Du wolltest mir beim Kochen helfen?"
"Tu ich ja."
None for me, thanks. It might improve my mood.“
"Rat mal wer grad in meinen Armen liegt."
"She barely gives the Chateau Haut Brion a chance to breathe."
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"I don't care how great the '61 Lafite is, Paul. You opened it in '97."
"Can you recommend something pronounceable?"
Wein-Cartoons II >
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