Wein-Cartoons III

"Burps"

"Out of this kettle here - weird bouquet!"

"Which wine are you tasting, Alfred?"

"Burps"

"Out of this kettle here - weird bouquet!"

"Which wine are you tasting, Alfred?"

Good grief- did everybody use the same glass?

Weinproben sind eklig!

Aber auch Verkosten muss gelernt sein, vor allem unter hygienischen Aspekten...

... und am besten wendet man sein neu erworbenes Wissen dann auch gleich praktisch an:

"Excellent cork - go ahead and pour."

"I noticed your wine list only has reds and whites. Don't you have any yellow wines?"

"Look, everyone! Look at what we're drinking!"

"Which of your even-numbered wines do you recommend?"

Chef's counter

"The customer at table nine has rejected another bottle of wine."

"What? That was a bottle of 1972 Merlot! Is he out of his mind?"

"They think I can't read the expiration date, but I can!"

Sigh...

"The tourist at table six insists on a bottle of 'coq au vin' - and the customer is always right."

Herr Wirt! Mein Wein hat Schraub- verschluss!

Whine Bar

"Excuse me, this has hints of chocolate and blackberry in it. Could I get one that's just wine flavored?"

"Wow, this vintage belongs in a much better bar!"

...and what are these screw tops all about, wine should have a proper cork, and the prices...who do they think they're kidding...

"And don't try to pull that old 'good wine steward, bad wine steward' routine on me!"

"eBay '99"

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais"

"Then again, it's really not that bad."

"You know, I don't even care how the wine tastes - this alone was worth the price."

"I'll have the pap smear."

Great legs, fine nose, excellent body - are you talking about the wine or the waitress?

"It says that in 25 years they've never had a bottle of wine returned. Yeah, I'll bet!"

"That will be perfect. We have a lot to talk about."

"That's the corkage fee you wanted to ask about, Jack, not the cleavage fee!"

"I hate it when they bring their own sommelier."

"Perhaps madam would prefer something less robust."

"Bad enough you let him bring his own bottle of wine - did you have to buy it, too?"

"You were right... two drinks and she's under the table!"

"Let that breathe a little. But not too much. My last bottle hyperventilated"

...wobei man natürlich auch im Fachhandel oft damit glänzen kann:

"The poor guy! How do we ask for a first growth Bordeaux without using the word 'growth'?"

German Fine Wines

"Do we have any electric wine?"

"Here's one I know we had before, but I don't remember if we hated it or loved it."

"That bottle with the little flowers on the label it isn't one of those that are going through the roof, is it?”

"Guess where I've been."

"No, I can't remember the name of the wine, but it did come in a bottle about this tall, if that's any help."

"Something drinkable right now."

"It just won this years equivalent to the Nobel prize."

"For that price, I'd want it to love me in return."

...besonders dann, wenn die fachkundige Beratung zu wünschen übrig lässt:

"How do you tell a red from a white?"

"Throw in a pack of gum or something; people are staring."

"You want body? This Pinot Noir has body!"

"Can you recommend a wine that will go well with the Millers?"

"Only 99 cents a gallon, but believe me, it tastes like it cost twice that much."

Ah, an ingenious choice, madam - dispensing with the usual pretence of trying to impress one's guests in favour of amusing them!"

"If the 750 ml of the '82 Beaumont are too pricey, how about their Merlot-scented auto air freshener? Only 99 cents."

"Ah, the '74 Amarone. Unfortunately, I can't sell it to you. There's no possible way you'd appreciate it."

"Unverschämtheit!"

"Welcher Jahrgang?"

Wines of the World

"Who said I was pregnant?!"

Ouch

"What were you saying a minute ago, about not being able to judge a wine by its label?"

"Maybe the clerk said store the wine horizontally..."

"If its really his private reserve, what's it doing for sale?"

"C'mon, hurry it up, I've got a bottle of wine here that says it needs to be drunk soon!"

"Another 'last bottle' for the display, when you're ready."

Dieser Wein da, ist der gut?

Wer saudumm fragt ...

Ja.

"When I asked for something woody with a great finish, they said I should try the panelling department at OBI."

"You want to return it, after six months of window- display-aging here gave it such...character?"

"Ich sag nur Gammelwein! Jahrealt! Was soll's sonst sein?"

German Fine Wine