Wein-Cartoons VI

Wein ist (meist) auch ein äußerst gutes Investment:

Die schönsten Momente im Leben

Meine erste Flasche über 30 Euro!

"I'd like this Pinot Noir, but I can't afford it - and I own the winery."

"What makes a man obsess over the last drop of wine in a bottle? - exactly $599,99."

"The greatest wine in my collection? Why, it's my '45 Chateau Palmer, and, oh, what a coincidence, it's right here!"

"Nein!"

"Griech ich nun Wein!?"

Griechen verschärfen Finanz-Desaster

Bordeaux

Chablis

"Of course the biggest difference between investing in wines, as opposed to stocks is the way in which they crash."

"Ooh, this is an old one. I'll bet it's worth its weight in oil."

"Heads, it's the mortgage payment, tails, it's 1st growth Bordeaux."

Chablis

"Am I the only guy at this table who remembers when this stuff was merely two hundred and fifty Dollars a bottle?"

"What do you have in investment-grade reds?"

"Throw it out? It's worth more! That's $27 worth of wine spilled on a $12 tie."

"The kidnappers demand $50.000 for my '82 Haut Brion? That's an insult! - make out a check for $80.000!"

"Jede dieser Flaschen ist ein Vermögen wert!"

"Wie in der Bundesliga."

Liquid Assets

"I was doing okay in the stock market until I started investing too heavily in liquid assets."

"The $1, 5 trillion deficit wouldn't sound nearly as bad if they expressed in in bottles of Chateau Lafite Rothschild."

"Tja - wir müssen alle sparen."

"Für die Flasche hab' ich 150 Euro auf den Tisch gelegt."

"Do you take coupons?"

"The Wine Advisor gave it a 96..."

"I'll take a case."

"Geez- this wine is repulsive!"

"Why dont they just call it Chateau Sit-Down-Before- You-look-At-The-Price?"

"Excuse me, waiter, change that order to the '09 Grüner Veltliner - my dad doesn't know crap about wine."

...auch für kommende Generationen, die man allerdings schon frühzeitig auf den richtigen Umgang mit diesem "Liquid Asset" vorbereiten sollte :

"Angular, edgy, nuanced? Better than the flabby Zinfandel we had last night? This is absolutely the last time you give Jeremy a sip of your wine!"

"Jim wants to name her Chateau de la Comte du Seine Auberge, the wine we drank on our honeymoon. I'd settle for Jane."

"No disrespect, but if the young gentleman suggests the Chanson Beaune Greve Burgundy over the Chambol Musigny, I'm inclined to believe him."

"I'm teaching him to drink sensibly!"

Stop

Bus

"And what else does your dad do other than drinking wine, Tom?"

"The reason they come in packages of three is simple: Two for your brother and one for your father."

"Excellent grape jelly, mother - I detect Macabeo, Arinto, Rotgipfler, and just a hint of Hondarrabi Zuri."

"Would it bother you if Jack turned out French?"

"It's so much easier now that the children are our age."

"Who will carry on when Im gone? All my kids are in recovery."

"You're laying down that bottle for when Rich graduates from college? Don't you ever want to drink it?"

Die können sagen was sie wollen. Irgendwie riechen die alle holzig.

"I can see the splinters."

"I'm not putting it out. There's enough oak in this Chardonnay to keep this fire going all night."

"It's very woody."

"Someday, you may thank me for breaking what was becoming, in this family, a viscous cycle of inheritance.

"It's not like dad left you out of the will. It says I get the contents of the wine cellar... and you get the corks."

jedoch sind weder "holzige"...

"This one's kerosene, the other's Chardonnay."

"The Oaky Cellars oak-soaked, double oakified Chardonnay, with extra oak and oak chunks? - Yes, it's a bit oaky."

"Nur weil Leo mal wieder Blähungen hat, heisst es dann wir würden den Wein verkorken..."

"How did I fill all this for only $ 75.00? Easy, I only collect corked wines."

"Superb! Une qualitée excep- tionelle, portugiesische Korkeiche, Jahrgang 1983, Gewinner der Goldmedaille beim prix de..."

"Und das ist erst der Korken!"

"For the last time - how long have you been corked?"

THE WINE RACK

"Du bist doch nicht ganz dicht, Mann!"

...noch "korkige"...

"...at last, the woman of my dreams..."

"This cork idea of yours is great! How do you get it out?"

"Vino News only rates this wine with a 2 - but the cork got a 10!"

"How many times did you think you could get away with using the term 'bouchon d'expedition' on the first date?"

"Bugger! It's corked!"

"So, who's up for seeing volume two of my cork collection?"

"Hang on sir, I'll see if I can find one with a screw top"

"Waiter, this wine is corked!"

Eins stand jetzt schon fest: Der Wein stammt aus dem Baumarkt.

"The review said drinking this wine is like drinking a Rembrandt. All I taste is the frame."

"Talk about oaky..."

...oder gar unbekömmliche Weine zweifelhafter Herkunft weiterzuempfehlen:

"It's no longer 'box wine'. The classy term is'Cardbordeaux'”.

"You travelled 6,000 miles because someone recommen- ded Chateau Grande Magnifique? Well, buddy, here it is!"

Ürziger Würzgarten Spätlese übersüßt

"Umlauts. It happens every time."

750 ml $ 8.99 Just ask for it by name

Chiantis in Translation